Signs of fall, El Estero Lake and geese. A white one captivated my attention.
Del Monte Beach, rocks with holes, gulls and I loved watching the whimbrels in the waves.
Heading toward the jetty, passed pelicans, an osprey and felt gratitude for the nature around me. I don't know if I would have made it through the last year without my walks.
For Phil
When people say that it is the small things that end up meaning the most....it's true. When I make the bed, I remember making the bed together, when I walk on the beach, I see us there holding hands and each night when I lay in bed, I remember kissing you and wondering if it would be the last time, so I went in for several more. Each moment, each precious moment etched in my mind.
I woke with energy and headed out to walk with enthusiasm. I spotted a pigeon guillemot, I had never seen the inside of their mouths! Just as red as the feet! That pleased me, our mornings have been gray, the color adds some zest to the pictures.
What happened next shocked me and made me sad. I spotted a goose that was sitting on her babies. I could see them underneath her. She covered them more as I got near. I passed by and went to sit in the distance so I could make video of the babies. Before long the pair moved down the beach with two goslings following. As I was making a video, a dog came running in and scattered the birds. Forgetting I was using my camera, I ran to try to grab one of the babies that sat on the beach. The dog got to it before me. The other baby went into the sea that was filled with sea lions. The owners of the dog pulled the baby from the dog's mouth and took responsibility to find help for it. The baby disappeared and the parents headed out to sea. I called Noelle and told her what I saw and cried.
I was right at the jetty so I headed out and spent time with the sea lions. The were active, a lot of barking and playing going on.
A sea otter and it's big catch.
I walked toward Fisherman's Wharf, I was still out to lunch. I feel like the movement was helping me come back to the moment.
I took a moment of meditation in the garden behind the Custom house.
Missing Phil... 365 days of images is getting me through the difficult days. The driving force is love. I obviously was crazy about Phil. He was one hell of a person and we had great love for one another. Love, passion and emotion are driving me through this. Today my heart hurt from missing him. There is an emptiness that resides there, a space that once was occupied by him, feels empty. I am learning to fill that space, but it seems to be a process, a hard, long process. I want to heal, I want to feel better but if I could say what I really want....
I want Phil back. I know impossible - but each day I will get up and I will forge forward to continue to find beauty.
Today I got asked to show a death certificate - thus the angst.
The marine layer hung heavy this morning. That always brings on the search for color. I went straight to the Pacific Grove coastline looking for flowers.
Peace comes to me as I search for images. I find myself noticing everything around me. I replace the sadness I feel with beauty. The ocean air, the colors around me and the sound of the waves are healing and offer distraction. 365 days seems like a long time, I know love will carry me the distance.
I spotted a sea otter, pup and a seagull who was hoping for a piece of crab.
I believe the bird below is a kingfisher.
The oystercatchers were fighting for territory.
The best surprise of the day - baby geese!
I ran out again in the afternoon to check the harbor seal rookery - A fishing boat with its net out.
I did see one harbor seal mom and pup kissing. I will try, try again for some better pup photos.
I also ran out for a brief second to catch the sunset!
