The last morning of my 365 days of images was an emotional one. I walked around Pacific Grove, remembering Phil. Some very painful things came back, the first seizure, diagnosis and his last days of his life, which brought tears. There was also a surge of memories of picnics, long walks and just looking into each other's eyes which made it feel better. The loss is immense but I'm learning to assimilate grief into my life. I will go forward learning more about myself and reviving the laughter, fun and happiness of my life.
After Phil was diagnosed with brain cancer, the 4 1/2 year journey that began, was rough at best. In those times we started to walk. We noticed the small things that surrounded us, the beauty around us soothed our souls. I started taking images as we walked, it helped both of us. Then, it began to be a game looking for subject manner to take photos of. Phil would help spot wildlife, otters and whale blows. We had fun and it gave us a chance to forget what was going on in our lives, even for just a moment. 365 days has just continued that, it allowed me to remember Phil and give me time to heal.
There is a self pride that has come with this. I have never journaled everyday, in fact I've never been this dedicated to a self challenge in my life. Phil always told me I was amazing and a bad ass. Today I'm feeling like he was right. I did it, I got up each day around 5:00 am, I have walked a little over 1500 miles and who the hell knows how many images I have taken. 365 days of images - Wow. Phil would have loved this. I told his story from diagnosis on. Writing it all out was a release, this has been a cathartic experience all the way around. The best reward is the people who have come forward saying the beauty that I have shared has helped them in some way. That is a dream come true to me, if I could help one person then all work I have put in is worth it.
I will take photos and write about what I come up with, seems like that will add some fun to life. I know Phil would want me to find joy and keep moving forward in life. I feel like today is a new start. Phil will always be with me, the joy and love he gave me, helps give me strength. I'm so very grateful for everyone who helped, loved and supported us during some very difficult times. I know Phil was moved by the kindness of others. Thank you from both of us.
