Remembering the love of my life - Philip J Hellyer 6/28/1975 - 07/09/2020

How to honor and share about someone as precious as my husband Phil has proven to be difficult for me.  I loved Phil more than words can express.  I felt I wanted to do something personal and show the inner beauty of Phil.

Phil Hellyer - June 28, 1975 - July, 09, 2020

To me, Phil was love, he was passion and he was my soul mate.  We loved spending time together and when we weren't working, we were together.  Traveling, partying and just being together gave us both pleasure and is what we centered our lives around.

Phil's beginnings were a series of stories that he recounted to me, esp. after he was diagnosed with cancer.  He would tell me of his childhood and growing up. He was born in Kentucky.  Phil said he always had a sense of adventure as a child and it was in his youth that he developed the love of travel.  I loved both qualities in him.

Phil was loved by my daughters Nicole and Noelle.  He loved helping with Nicole's business, "Ma's Green Living".  He and Noelle had a very relationship, he thought of her of as a daughter.  My family adored him, he and my Mom had a special bond.  She sent him a card every single day during his illness.  Noelle helped me take care of Phil as he became more ill, her help and love invaluable.  We all loved him and we will miss him.  

In the years that we were together Phil had many jobs.  He had been a cook, an ambulance driver, tow truck driver, worked in a vets office, managed a small hotel, security at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, but his love was firefighting.  He had always wanted to be a firefighter and it was one of the joys of his life.  He served in the Air National Guard with the 188th in Fort Smith, Arkansas as a firefighter, Eureka Springs, Arkansas Fire Dept and the Fayetteville, Arkansas Fire Dept.  He ended up owning and working at an auto repair shop on DLI in Monterey Ca.  Whatever he did, he took pride, did his best and he did it with a great attitude.

He was one of the "helpers" Fred Rogers spoke of.  He was there to help someone if their car was broke down, if a neighbor needed help or if a friend called.  He was just there.

He loved a variety of music, Bob Marley a favorite, The Monterey Jazz Fest a favorite destination and 80's music a staple.  Chicken wings made his heart sing, breakfast was our favorite meal together and Peach pie with ice cream brought that smile we loved.  He would watch 24 hours of "A Christmas Story".  Toward the end of his life he went on "Star Wars" and "Back to the Future" marathons.  He was a Clint Eastwood fan and was thrilled to sit across from him in Mission Ranch in Carmel.  Oh and he loved coffee!

Trips in our van with Judy proved to be some of the happiest times we shared.  The photo right above is from the first camping trip in the van.  It was at Castanoa KOA in between Santa Cruz and Half Moon Bay, California.  We spent most of that evening trying to fit everything we brought into the van.  We continued to refine our living for the next couple of trips, simplify seemed to be the message.  The van was the best buy, he loved to brag.  We had a great time traveling and camping around the country.  The coast of California was his love.  He was happy as long as he was on the coast with the sea breeze in his face.

Always a good sport, he was always there for me, in fun or to give me a hug to let me know everything was okay.  His hugs were the best and I'm going to miss them.

During his journey with cancer, he was amazing, brave and we treasured each moment that we were blessed with.  We took long walks, talked and embraced each other.

Losing his hair after radiation, I caught him in this photo as he finished washing it.

Not only did he love our sweet dog Judy, Phil never met an animal he didn't like.  Dog sitting proved to be a great therapy while he was on his journey with cancer.

The Monterey Bay Aquarium was one of our favorite places and holds many treasured memories.

Our travels were favorite times.  He became vibrant and joyful on our trips.

In the photo above Phil was on a walk in Oregon.. This was on a trip to visit friends soon after he had regained some strength after surgery, radiation and chemotherapy.  You can see the sheer joy on his face.  The trip to visit Chris and Scott was a confidence builder.  Later as Phil became more ill, I asked him if he was able to go anywhere, where would he go?  He replied he would do the Oregon trip again.

My sister Patti made sure he was smiling whether with T shirts that she sent him, or favorite foods and meals.  He loved her and looked forward to the joy that she sent.

 An eye for vintage cars, we spent many hours looking at automobiles.

Pacific Grove and Monterey became home.

Phil had a passion for the ocean - During his recovery time and our walks by the ocean, he seemed to find peace.  Our moments by the sea are now cherished memories.  

He loved to cook, whether it was at home or on the grill.  Meeting, Chef Carla Hall was a treat!

His smile melted my heart.  My heart went pitter patter every time I saw him smile.  I felt that flutter  each time I saw his beautiful face enter a room. 

Reflections of......

Behind the shadows.

His life was full of love and friends.

Local artists provided love and beauty.

On October 28 this year, we would have celebrated 23 years together and 15 years being married.  We had a simple "I do, I do" wedding, although the love we shared was extraordinary.  He was the love of my life.  I will miss him everyday.

I know he is now watching over me and I continue to tell him what I'm up to.