365 days of images - - Day 158 - June 06, 2021 - Linda's Intuitive Images LMH -- Finding magic, faeries and beauty in Carmel

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 I'm struggling right now, there is no doubt about that.  I was just looking at the blog and the date in the title has been June 3rd for three days, that says it all.  I corrected it, but that has been the trend lately.  I'm sure it has to do with me feeling all the emotions from a year ago.  The worst days of my life.  To watch Phil suffer was absolutely and completely the most painful thing I have ever been through.  Phil, Noelle and I were wrapped up in some very difficult days.  To Noelle, I say thank you for all you did.  Without Noelle I would not have been able to have Phil at home.  Covid caused problems with getting home care.  Noelle was incredible and stepped right into caregiving.  We had friends who helped us, help Phil.  Thank you to each and every family member and friend who were there for us.  We all did our best to help his transition be filled with love.  I need to feel the emotions because I was in survival mode then.  I'm now processing the emotions, I get it, but it is hard.  I've learned it's best to let the feelings happen and it passes.  My daughter Nicole gave me the best advice, be gentle on myself for the next couple of months. 

I've been pushing myself lately, I want to heal, I want to get on with life.  I know that I have to allow the healing take place.  Instead of pushing myself today, I amused myself.  I went to Carmel because I seem to find peace there, it is calming to me.   Things flowed a little better.  Oh I cried a couple of times, but it was short lived and filled with love.  Phil surrounded me with love...... and I let that fill me.

I'm okay, healing and Carmel helped!

For Phil

I miss you.

365 days of images - - Day 34 - Feb 02, 2021 - Linda's Intuitive Images LMH -- Magical, Mystical Morning in Carmel Valley

 

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This morning was blanketed in by rain.  It was raining too hard for me to hide under awnings to take images.  I got in the car and headed toward Carmel hoping the rain would become manageable for me there.  Instead it was pouring as I arrived in Carmel.

I heard Phil in my head telling me to head to Carmel Valley.  Although it looked pretty gray that way, I figure I better follow what I heard.

Let me back up to yesterday when I was feeling very low and I asked Phil please give me some kind of a big sign, I wanted to know he was with me.  This is something we had talked about to great extent before he passed away.  We talked about the afterlife, messages and both of us comfort in that we would always be together.  Whether it is just the way I need to handle my grief or I'm getting messages, what was about to happen blew me away and I feel lighter today.  I feel that I'm surrounded by love whether it is God or Phil or perhaps both.  I needed this morning.....

I head toward Carmel Valley and it is visibly raining in front of me.  Phil and I had a couple of favorite spots in Carmel Valley, we had friends who lived there, Bob and Bonnie, I miss you.  We also visited Earthbound farms, but there was a special area that we visited often before and after his diagnosis.  A winery had had an old truck in front of it, were would park, walk, take pictures, go to the market and picnic.  I headed with that destination in my mind.

As I drove I spotted a glimpse of some light ahead, I could see a sunrise peeking through the valley.  I couldn't contain myself, I pulled over to the side of the road to take images of the sun, just in case it was my only glimpse.  Right off the side of the hwy and in the rain I rush to take a photo.

When I turned around to get back in the car, I spotted a rainbow!  I was excited but not in the ideal spot for image taking.

I got excited and worried that the sunrise and the rainbow were going to disappear.  Back into the car and a bit further up the road, I can't help myself again!  It is still raining and I had to fight to keep my lens clean, I stop and take another image or two.

Not pleased with the setting, I set back out for Carmel Valley, understanding it is only a few miles from Carmel.  I head toward the area that is familiar to me and I park.  Over the area that we spent so many blissful moments is the rainbow, beautiful lighting and the rain is manageable to take photos.  I get out of the car, singing and taking images.

Do you see my shadow?  That would be right where Phil and I would have parked the van so many years ago.  The rainbow was over the area.  I told Phil thank you, my heart soared.  I felt like it was my Happy Birthday.  He knows I like to celebrate all month long.  Noelle and I always make a month of it.  There was an incident many years ago, that Phil and Darin almost got in a fight at Walt Disney World defending our right to celebrate our birthday month.  Ha!  That is another story, for another day.  It made me smile.

The rainbow faded as I walked and before long the rain just started coming down.

I ended up running back to the car.

My Irish heritage made me take this beauty of a sign.

What a freaking wonderful way to start the day!

For Phil

I love and miss you

Thank you for the rainbow

I believe!  I believe!