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I didn't know what to expect from myself today. One year has passed since Phil's death and the year has been a rollercoaster of emotions and grief. This morning when I woke I saw light and I ran down to the ocean. My walk was beautiful, I know Phil would have been pleased. I got to Lover's Point as quickly as I could. The sunrise was breathtaking, and an inspirational sight.
I know a large part of the sadness I feel comes from the suffering that went along with brain cancer. It was cruel and hard to watch. This morning however I knew Phil would want me to concentrate on what was spectacular about our relationship. Our lives together was fun, full of love and nothing less than a love story. I treasure the memories. Today needed to be the celebration on Phil's life. I had taken on the challenge of 365 days of images to honor and remember Phil's life. Phil passed away during the pandemic and a memorial was out of the question. I needed a way to remember and honor him.
I've been putting the love I have left for him into my photos. I'd like to believe that I see the beauty around me for him.
I walked the path that we walked so often as Phil went through treatments. The beauty around us taking us away from the worry and pain that we were experiencing. I stopped and let myself feel and remember. He was my best friend, confidant, soul mate and husband. Diagnosed in 2016, we spent the next four and a half years, talking, hugging, making amends and living. We got to say good-bye, what a blessing.
Phil was courageous, loving and amazing during the journey. We learned more about each other and the love we shared, while we walked. Brain injury caused him to change in many ways, it took him a little at a time. He remained the same kind, wonderful man through everything. He never missed an I love you - ever!
Pacific Grove, was healing, loving and was and is home.
To Phil
I will always love you.
I carry you with me, I put the love I still have for you in my images.
My walks are filled with the most beautiful memories. We loved and lived.
Each precious moment etched in my mind.
I miss you and always will.
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