Scott took this photo on our trip to Oregon.
Phil and I celebrate 21 years of being together and 13 years of being married on Oct 28. It has been a beautiful ride and we have had some amazing journeys while we have been together. The journey that we have been on most recently, astrocytoma stage 3 brain cancer, has been the most challenging. I'm going to have to pick that one as the most amazing journey, first though. Although this has been the most difficult of trips, it has brought us together in ways I would have never imagined. The most painful, horrific thing that could happen to a person, is something that made us bond in a way that has been spiritual, opened us up to even knowing more about each other than we ever had and made us appreciate each moment. We waste no time on silly things, respect, love and trust are all important. We discovered ourselves, realized who our friends are and have been blessed with more love than we would have ever been able to imagine.
So my number one journey is the one we are now. When I asked Phil which journey as number one, he said that he would pick this one too!
I asked Phil to contribute to this blog, and he obliged. It is not easy for him to type due to some small motor skill problems. He spent several hours today working on this. This is simply the best anniversary present, every word means the world to me. I love you Phil, thank you.
I asked Phil to contribute to this blog, and he obliged. It is not easy for him to type due to some small motor skill problems. He spent several hours today working on this. This is simply the best anniversary present, every word means the world to me. I love you Phil, thank you.
Phil:
I would have to agree. This has been the toughest journey we have ever done and we have had some interesting ones (Transylvania for instance), we have been so fortunate to have the family and friends that we have to help us through this. I have watched a strong woman become even stronger!! Linda, thank you for being patient, you are amazing and I am the luckiest man to be alive and celebrating our anniversary together, I love you so much!
The bell ringing ceremony after Phil finished his radiation. My sister Patti, gave Phil t-shirts as he went through his treatments, it kept him smiling even in the darkest times.
A entire wall of love - these words along with the one's we read on Facebook, sustained us and kept us going. Thank you very much.
Kindness the number one healer and morale builder.
Phil got a signed CD from Patrick Sweany - he was thrilled.
Patrick, thank you for all the pleasure and music that you have brought to us.
We consider it the soundtrack to our relationship.
The first time Phil looked at the ocean after having his second brain surgery. A profound moment, I know that moment changed the way be both looked at the world. Our walks brought photography into our daily lives and a passion began for me. Photography has helped both of us heal, it keeps us moving physically and allows me to put emotion into creativity.
Phil picked the next journey and I loved this one too. It was the wedding of my daughter Nicole and Darin. Darin just passed away last week, our hearts are broken. The wedding was the best wedding I have ever attended. The hotel they were married in was the same hotel that many years earlier Nicole and I had celebrated her high school graduation in. The Outrigger Keahou Hotel in Kona on the Big Island was heaven. We had a balcony that hung out over the ocean, you could see colorful fish swimming below. Spectacular would describe the view, fun would be how the week progressed and the wedding - wild, dancing and joyous celebration.
I have many wonderful memories of that week but there are a couple that I will never forget.
At the wedding, the dancing was fun, the music was loud and the alcohol was flowing.
We danced, we enjoyed each others company and we got told that we needed to take it down a notch. Ha! Not our first nor last time to be given that warning.
Phil and I had two beach experiences that were incredible. One day we went to a beach by the Waikoloa Hotel, we had the beach to ourselves, except for the Honu. The Sea Turtles just laid in the sun with us. Another day, Phil, Noelle and I went to the black sand beach, where we saw Honu and spinning dolphins - magical.
Phil:
Whoa!! What fun this was. I can remember that I almost didn't go because we thought we couldn't afford it and I was going to stay home and work. I started looking up Kona and the Big Island online and said there was no way I wasn't going!! I am so glad I went. What an amazing time we had. The island was so beautiful, and of course I got fried on the first day laying on the beach next to the Honu. Linda and I got to drive around the island and explore the islands different climate zones. Turkeys blocking the roads and waterfalls everywhere, WOW!! Then came the wedding. Like Linda said there was alcohol flowing everywhere, but we will come back to that. Darin's friend Mike Gainer and I were put in charge of getting Darin to his wedding on time, HA! Mike was ironing Darin's clothes and I was like Darin's "hype man" yelling at him to hurry up!! We made it, but just barely, running across the hotel grounds to make it. I believe Darin needed a couple of breaks during the ceremony to wipe the sweat from his face. Then came the party!! Lots of drinking, dancing, and chest bumps. :) Needless to say Linda and Noelle were very patient with me the next day as I tried not to waste it away with a hangover. I had to concede though. The following days were some of the most special memories I have had with Linda. I would often think of those memories to help calm me as I would go through radiation and chemo. The two of us laying on Punalu'u Beach, watching the kids fishing on the beach and the Honu coming ashore. Truly amazing!!
RIP Darin
RIP Darin
The next journey was important in many ways, it was the first road trip that we took after Phil finished his chemo and radiation. By this time Phil was suffering from confusion and exhaustion. He had started physical therapy and we were walking and walking and walking. We had lost some confidence going through the seizures, brain surgeries and treatments. Our friends Chris and Scott gifted us a trip to come visit them. We got to explore Corvallis, Oregon and the Oregon Coast. With that visit came more than just a gift of a journey, there was the gift of confidence. There was fear of having a seizure while we were on the journey, if Phil's body could take the trip and I was horrified at altitude and what it might do to the brain swelling.
Chris and Scott took us on adventures that pushed us and they gave us love, combined with confidence that we could do it. After that trip Phil began to soar and my self confidence began to come back. There are no words to show our appreciation for this trip. Thank you and we are sending love.
Phil:
I had such a great time on this trip. I had never been that far up the coast before and Chris and Scott made that trip possible for us at a very difficult time. Such a wonderful trip, Chris and Scott welcomed us into their lovely home in Corvallis. They took us hiking up mountains that we were both concerned about with pressure in my brain. We had spoke with my doctor about it before, he said to just do it!! So we did!! I am so thankful to the both of them for giving us the nudge out of our "comfort" zone that we needed. We got to drive to the coast and spend the night in a great old cabin in Newport some friends of theirs owned. We had an AMAZING!! dinner at Local Oceans Seafood by the docks in Newport, where you can walk down among the fishing boats and see what the catch was, it was a lot of fun. We split company from there and Linda and I got to slowly cruise down the coast and see some amazing sites that neither of us had seen before. Always fun experiencing new things together. Thank you so very much Chris and Scott!! The drive to "keep moving forward," and the memories you have given us are priceless. I'm ready to go again in a flash!! Love you both!
I love this photo of Phil, it says it all.
The next journey Phil picked, which he said he couldn't pick between all the times we had been there was Walt Disney World. I can't count how many times we have been. Both of my daughters Nicole and Noelle attended Disney college and worked there for a period of time. That meant there were many visits as discounted prices. We would join as a family and have the most incredible times. One of my favorite memories involved my son in law Darin. We were in an arcade and he loves Nascar, there was a driving game where they lined up about 10 people on machines that raced against each other. I am not known for my driving but the family wanted to do it and I was in. We all got into line together so we would compete against each other. I have a competitive streak sometimes and it hit me that day. I came in first beating everyone on the first game, I couldn't believe it, on a video driving game. What did we do? A rematch of course! We played several times, I was a vicious driver, I knocked cars off the road, and drove like a maniac, I couldn't be beat. I am still basking in the glow of that win. Darin I know you are in the heavens and see me tell this story.....it will always make me smile. Thanks for being a good sport.
Phil:
There are so many fun memories of Disney World, I wouldn't even know where to begin. Linda was a bully on the arcade game as she stated, knocking Darin, and little kids, off the roads in the game. Although EPCOT is always my favorite place to be at in Disney World, I would have to say some of my fondest memories were when we would stay in the cabins at Fort Wilderness Campgrounds. We would all retreat back to the cabins for dinner to take a break from all of the craziness of the parks and people. The cabins had full kitchens and grills. We would all sit around grilling out, talking and laughing about all the fun we were having and we were about to have. So much fun and wonderful times!! I love you all!! Signed, Bob :)
Many times we partied with Noelle's friend James when we visited Walt Disney World.
I'd have to pick another journey of a type that has evolved since Phil was diagnosed, it is what we call Adventure Monday. Every Monday since Phil has been well enough to enjoy going out, Noelle, Phil and I go out. It can be a simple as grabbing lunch, taking a trip to Santa Barbara or taking in a moment on the beach. We have had countless trips and those moments are precious to us. One trip that I loved was one that we took to Ft Bragg, California to see the Sea Glass Beach. We had the best time exploring lighthouses, hiking through tall grass and discovering all kinds of treasures on the beach.
Phil:
The glass beach in Fort Bragg is hands down one of the coolest things I've seen. I highly recommend seeing it. Cabrillo Lighthouse is very cool too. Linda, Noelle and I of course being who we are, did not follow the easy paved road walk out to the lighthouse, somehow we decided to hike through heavy brush to get there, which ended up being the most magical path as deer and other critters were around that you would miss if you stayed on trail. This leads me to one of my favorite Adventure Monday's. We decided to go for a hike in Big Sur. Linda and I had done the hike before but it had been a very long time ago. We parked at the Big Sur Lodge and began the hike up. It was very warm that day and we really weren't too prepared for what we were about to do. We started up the steep mountain with it getting hotter and steeper. We thought we would just go halfway and turn at the falls, but the trail to the falls was closed for maintenance. We talked about it together and Noelle said we came this far, "keep moving forward", a common new phrase in our household nowadays. We climb on, people going down, lying to us telling us we were almost there, HA!! We finally made it to a very beautiful clearing with an amazing view of the Redwoods on the mountains, breathtaking, literally. Noelle's perseverance is what I take from that. She kept that push and that drive to keep us going and not to give up. After spending a moment taking in the energy, we head down. Once again, us being us, we veer of trail. We are promptly stopped by a state park ranger who tells us nicely but firmly that we were not where we were supposed to be and where we needed to go. Always in trouble.
Phil and I at Cabrillo Lighthouse.
A hike we will never forget at Big Sur.
Phil picked a journey that might have been the most mystical, romantic that we have ever had. It was when we first moved back to California after being gone for a few years. It was our first trip up the coast, at the time I was a property manager, my supervisor and now good friend Jennifer set us up in a cabin at the Russian River Thousand Trails Campground near Cloverdale, California. It is an incredible property and that night the walk Phil, Judy (our dog) and I took was unbelievably beautiful. There was a light rain, the Madrone trees had a slick maroon color and the feeling was mystical. I will never forget that evening....that weekend was spectacular and special.
Phil:
It was so beautiful and an amazing property that sits on the river. We walked in the rain down to the river with Judy. The beach sits down below where the 101 runs and a semi driving by honked at us. It was just so peaceful and we were both so happy to be back in California.
The next pick was one we both agreed on wholeheartedly, but could not decide on one camping trip, so we decided to make this the "van" story. We bought the van so we could travel with our dog, Judy. Soon after we bought the van on Ebay for $5000. we took a trip across country to visit my family in Arkansas. We had too many trips to tell them all, from one end of California to the other. We loved the van, the adventures were fabulous and we had some great times with the love of our life Judy.
Phil:
What can I say about the van. I loved that van. She was multi purpose. It was my daily driver, my office at work when it was cold or raining into my shop. Everyone knew me as Phil, the guy with the big van, hahaha! The van was the way Linda, Judy and I were able to escape from work and life. Just about every weekend after we got it, we were gone on an adventure. It was perfect for the three of us, Linda was happy that it had a toilet in it so she didn't have to deal with public restrooms in the middle of downtown San Fransisco and Judy knew she was a spoiled little princess with her own beds. Very happy times and memories in that van and I miss those journeys in her.
The next trip Phil and I both agreed on was one that we took to the Point Sur Lighthouse and station. We got a private tour from our friend Connie. Another friend Patty and her son Robert joined us.
We loved it, the views were outstanding, the company divine and it was educational! I simply do not think you could improve the views. Good friends, beauty and a hike, what could be better? There are people that come into your life for different reasons, both of these women have touched my heart. Connie touches me with her photography and Patty touches my soul.
Phil:
This is such a fun and learning experience to the lighthouse, thank you Connie for the wonderful tour you gave us. Patty, you perplex me. You are by far one of the most generous, gentle and kind people I have ever met. The reason it perplexes me is because you make it look so effortless, like everyone should just be that way to total strangers. We are honored to call you our friend. Everyone should have a Patty. There will never be enough thank you's. Love you Patty.
The trip was amazing and we were looking forward to the journeys to come.
When we got back life changed.......but while we were on that trip, we were having the time of our life.
Phil:
I have mixed emotions about this trip. My shop was on a base that closed down for two weeks at Christmas so this is when we would take longer trips. We had an amazing time on our trip and got to do things that we can no longer do like eat in one of our favorite restaurants East Beach Grill in Santa Barbara, which is no longer there. Then all the way back up the coast, staying at one of our favorite campgrounds, the Manchester Beach KOA. We both had been noticing something was a little off with me. I was becoming extremely dizzy and not feeling well. I would always blame me not feeling well on me working too hard at the time, which is in truth happening. Linda had been noticing me losing stuff and becoming forgetful which was not like me at all. I have always been very fastidious. On the very last night of our trip, New Years Eve, I burned my hands and arms with second and third degree burns with boiling water. This made it impossible to work when I got back. While we were waiting for our studio apartment to open, as we still had a couple of weeks, Linda would move us in and out of the hotels, friends and families apartments, etc, because I was physically unable to do it. All the while tending to my burns and taking are of us, you're a Bad Ass Linda!! Then BAM!!! Life change!! So this is the beginning of finding our new life and path with friends and family. The new journey begins and continues.....
Phil, I love you with all of my heart, I love the journey that we have shared together. You have been kind, always there for me, courageous, my best friend, lover, husband and soul mate. I look forward to many more journeys and am treasuring all of our moments. Thank you for your love, it has been the best gift I have ever received in my life. Happy Anniversary, I love you.
Phil:
Linda, there will never be enough words to tell you how I feel about you, we have shared so much together over many, many years. What we are sharing now is very challenging and I am watching you plow through with grace, strength, and determination. We are so fortunate for our lives to cross paths when they did and for us to get to know each other, becoming such great friends, and then to be able to know each other better as lovers and spouses. You are my best friend and soul mate. Thank you for everything you do to "keep us moving forward". Happy Anniversary Linda, I love you very much!!
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