Walks, healing and beautiful talks

The highlight of each day are our walks, our glorious walks.  Each day we try to take 2 or 3 walks to keep Phil's strength up.  With the last brain surgery he lost strength in his left side.  He struggles with that side of his body and balance.  The radiation and chemo have made him tired and weak, so we work around nap times.  We usually take a drive and end up either by the ocean or in a neighborhood to explore.  He still has 10 more radiation treatments and about 5 more weeks of chemo.  The walking not only helps with his physical challenges, it really helps with his emotions and mine.  

We focus on trying to find the beauty in everything........

Sometimes it's old cars, we have been spotting many of them.  We both enjoy the beauty of the old cars.  We make it into a game, like kids on a road trip.  

Anxiety is a problem for both of us at this stage of the game so we also look for spots to meditate and relax.  It's at these places that we will sometimes get into our most serious of discussions.  His healing, being patient and sometimes our pasts.  Part of healing is letting go of the pain that has followed us around for years.  Yes I would say letting go of petty pains, past mistakes and pain that other people caused us while we were growing up is best left behind.

The small beauty that is all around us, that's what makes us both cry sometimes.  The beauty of a flower, an old dog or a lady bug on a plant.  When we are in these moods, we reflect on our gratitude for the family and friends that we have in our life to help us at this time.  Sometimes we talk about how other people handle what we are going through.  There are people who have stepped up to help that we didn't expect and sometimes there are people you expected to be there that just couldn't be there.  They can't handle the pain of the diagnosis, the way we choose to cope or for their own personal reasons.  We both choose not to judge how someone is reacting but try to learn from these things.  Our compassion and empathy toward others has certainly changed and grown.  We have always been sensitive, the two of us, but this has changed how we think and feel.  I never walk past another person now without wondering what must they be going through.

  

The ocean, the sound of the waves and the immense beauty that surrounds us.  That beauty, plus the love of our family and friends is what is getting us through.  The ocean can inspire deep silence and sometimes tears.  The emotions can be felt through your whole body.  I think what we both would tell you is to not waste time, quit worrying about petty things, the most important things in life are love, your family and friends.  Don't waste an I love you ever.........Never miss the chance to hug someone and always be grateful for each moment.  

Those days when he smiles or laugh are the best days.  The small gifts and cards are the best - he loves to go to the mailbox.  There have been so many treasures.  Gift cards, rosaries, crystals, dream catchers, religious metals, every single one treasured and loved.  The get well cards and treasures are hanging all over our studio apt.  It is cheerful and reminds us that we are loved.  Thank you to all.

Yes these walks are treasured and loved..........

If he is tired and feels like he wants to stay close to home, we find treasures in the neighborhood.  This is usually the time for pep talks, he doesn't like to miss his longer walks.....I remind him that small walks add up and each one is important......We then look for treasures in the neighborhood.

On today's walk he told me, "I'm just lucky to be here". 

I second that emotion.