We are home again, the surgery is over and we are now at square one again. Starting rehabilitation once more. The anticipation of the surgery was unbearable, after just going through it within the month. He made it through the surgery, woke up with numbness on one side of his body. This scared him, he had very high blood pressure right after the surgery. His feeling on the left side of his body returned a few hours after surgery. There were many fears, but damage to his legs was a huge concern. On day two, he stabilized and looked much better. This time I was very emotional, had a hard time communicating with people and feel just worn out. Yesterday which was our third day in the hospital, the doctor came in and said he just wanted him out of the hospital. He wanted to keep his immunity up and not expose him to the germs in the hospital. That began a whirlwind of a day, seeing a physical therapist, because he had not even stood up at that point. He took a walk, they assessed his balance and strength. Unhooked him from everything, readied to get him to be released and fed him lunch. While all of that was going on, I ran to the store to get us groceries and picked up our mail. There were many cards and letters, that was a very pleasant surprise.
The first night was hectic and not very restful. He has been having nightmares and I have been suffering from stress heart palpitations. I still feel emotionally wrought, and felt sick this morning. He is drained and is depressed because he was finally healing and is now starting over again.
This morning we have looked at cards and letters, which cheered us up. He has been getting beautiful encouraging notes and gifts, that helps so much. We are trying to get our diet back on track and are sleeping as much as possible. It is hard to adjust to our new way of life.
Being a caregiver, losing everything financially and dealing with all of this is a struggle. I think I'm just tired now and trying to cope. I think sometimes it must be a nightmare and it will be over soon. Only to realize it is not........I'm trying to be optimistic, hopeful and to be the best that I can be for this person I love so dearly.
It is so hard not to be scared of everything right now. I long for a normal life........but all I really want is my husband not to have to suffer anymore.
Thank you again for all your support, without it I don't know where we would be. The support has come from all over the place. It has been interesting where the support comes from and the different people it brings into your life. My daughters have been invaluable, dear sweet girls. I know the prayers are helping and the messages of love help so much.
The van is still for sale, we are hopeful there is a car in the works. I want to be positive, I'm giving it my best shot. Sometimes it is all so overwhelming......
We will now venture onto the next part of our journey which will include treatment to help get rid of the rest of the tumor.
No comments:
Post a Comment