It was New Year's eve and the year was filled with possibilities. There were so many things that we wanted to leave behind, it had been a hard year of illness, a crazy neighbor and running a business that started to seem quite difficult for Phil.......
That evening started with a beautiful walk on the beach.
Kissing, hugging and happiness. Now in hind sight there were signs of what was about to happen, but at the time we attributed them to stress. He was forgetful which is something that is not typical.....
The campground had Karaoke that night, we cooked out dinner and listened to people sing. Then we had our own mini "burning man" ceremony. We put notes of what we wanted onto the burning man and we said the man symbolized the past year. It was a beautiful evening.
The following day is one that my husband Phil has been recalling in present days. It was a splendid day. Magical almost. Window shopping in Mendocino, we bought a sandwich and had a picnic, and there were so many whales in the bay, blows everywhere. Perfection, in every way.
After our perfect picnic in Mendocino we headed down to check out the Point Arena Lighthouse. We walked, it was more than beautiful and we had romance, love and happiness.
There were two crows that we sat and watched. We talked about their dedication to each other, wondering if they were lifelong mates.
We continued down the coast heading toward the Cloverdale KOA, we love that campsite, we have been many times. The next day was Sunday we were moving into the Travel Lodge in Monterey for a week. We were in-between apartments and we had decided that we would stay a week in one hotel and move to another until the apartment was ready. We had just enough funds to do that with returning to our jobs on Monday..........The trip down the coast was beautiful.
When I get to this point, I keep trying to pick photos and I'm having a hard time. I'm going ahead with the story, although it is very hard for me to do. Phil and I arrive in Cloverdale at the KOA, we set up camp, they give us the campsite that we wanted, we are so happy and settle in. After dinner he is boiling water for coffee, he accidentally pulls the hot water onto himself and burns his hands. Hot water went everywhere. We put cool water onto the burns, treat them the best we can with what we have. They is alway a first aid kit in the camper, so we can take care of it at the time. This is not like Phil at all. He is usually very cautious but once again I think that it is stress that is making him not pay attention......
The next morning it is raining, Phil's hands are burned and he can't help, so I break up camp and we head home. We stop at a drug store, pick up everything we need to treat his hands and head back toward Monterey. We are now starting to face that he is not going to be able to go back to work for at least a week. Phil owns a Auto Repair shop, he is it, owner, mechanic and front office person.
We stay at the Travelodge for a week, I go back to my job at the Aquarium and working at Ma's Green Living. We care for Phil's hands and try to rest. I get out right before or after work and snap a few photos, try to feel like we are having somewhat of a normal life.
Paula and Kurt, our friends put us up over the weekend. Nice to spend time with friends, have good food and some laughs.
We then move to a hotel called the Butterfly Grove Inn. Phil and I love it at the hotel, it feels homey. They are welcoming, the room is nice and the property is gorgeous. It sits right next to the Butterfly Sanctuary and I get a few photos,
Phil's hands were still not healed enough to go back to work. Our time at the Inn are over and we are sad to go, but we just move across the street to the Wilkies Hotel in Pacific Grove. It was an ok stay, but all we wanted was to go back to the Butterfly Grove Inn, we loved it there. We make plans and move back into the Butterfly Grove Inn.
Phil and I get up the next morning, he feels like he is going to be able to do some light work on cars, the hands are looking better, still not 100%, but enough that it seemed ok for him to go. He kisses me goodbye and goes to the nightstand to pick up his phone. When I look at him his hand is shaking and I think he has hit the burn and hurt himself. When I look at his face I can tell he is having a seizure. It was a long hard seizure, he hit his face when he falls. Blood is coming from his mouth, I'm so scared, but I call 911 and help soon arrives. It is quite dramatic, when Phil comes to, he is combative, the have to hold him down to give him a shot to calm him. He doesn't understand what is going on.....it was horrible. I call my daughter and my friends, and tell them what is going on. The ambulance takes Phil to the hospital and Nicole (my daughter) picks me up and we follow.
His heartbeat was irregular, he was so confused and we all were scared. I had my family and friends with me and it is then the nightmare begins.
They find a mass on his brain on the ct scan, MRI's follow, then surgery on the brain. 5 days in the hospital, we go home. Well not home, to my daughters home. The apartment becomes available, family and myself try to get all set up in studio apartment so he has a place to heal. Everything seems to be going well. We try to go get something to eat we just sit down and I can tell something is wrong. He looks at me and tells me he needs to go to the hospital, I rush him to the hospital and it seems he suffered a bleed in the area that the tumor was removed. He suffers a small seizure which only shows in the same hand that was affected in the first seizure. The hand shakes for a few minutes. Readmitted to the hospital, lots of tests and 3 more days of hospital stay.
The status right now: No diagnosis yet, we are living day to day. They took a biopsy. Incision site seems to be healing well. With the scare of the bleed, I'm keeping an eye on him so that we are aware whether inflammation in the brain occurs, I'm nervous. We are being very careful, eating good, and trying to tell each other how much we love one another. We cry, we are scared, we try to be strong......but mostly we are still in shock. The doctors say that chemo and or radiation will follow, but we are in a holding pattern.
Devastated financially, as now neither of us can work right now. Phil has to have 24/7 care right now due to the seizure danger. That being said, though the generosity of family, friends and strangers we are surviving and paying for medical costs that have to be made in order for his health needs to be met. There has been love, compassion and prayers when we have needed it. We are moving forward one day at a time.
Tomorrow is my birthday.......I'm so happy to have my husband with me. At least he didn't suffer the seizure while we were on the road, or while he was driving or while he was alone in the garage.
I have been surviving on love and adrenaline. Both Phil and I pledge that when we have his health again, we will dedicate ourselves to paying forward.
Right after surgery
His first look at ocean, just a few days ago.
Now that I have reread this, I understand it is hard to follow. It is still hard for me to understand and remember myself. Understand I'm not a writer, and I'm under a little duress. If you have questions, please do not hesitate to email me or facebook message me.
It's been a hard journey Linda. It's sad but beautiful to see you both pulling through this. All of this will pass into something wonderful for you both! Love you both very much! Patti
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