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Twisted up today. When I have moments with my grief, I look to what others have written or talk to friends who have been through a similar circumstance. Grief is such a personal journey but hearing how others have handled is consoling. I keep reading and hearing that acceptance comes. The feeling that I'm experiencing feels more like resignation.
Grief started the moment that Phil was diagnosed with brain cancer. It has continued and will probably always exist for me. I am now feeling a resignation, a feeling that I have to resign to what has happened. As Phil would say, "it is what it is" and now we have to make the best of what we have been given.
With the restrictions that still revolve around the pandemic, I am going to make camping, my pleasure.
First goal, probably in two sessions - Coastal California from La Jolla to Crescent City.
I am going alone, learning how to blog from the car and enjoying photography in new environments.
It should be interesting and empowering all at once. Preparations are in the works.
Challenging myself seems to be a method of my inner self at healing.
"If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass us by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you, oh-oh
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you tonight"
Vanessa Carlton
For Phil
I miss you
with all my heart.
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