The view from the doctors office
This time our journey takes us to San Francisco to see the doctors at UCSF. There is an outstanding Neuro Oncology department there with doctors who specialize in brain cancers. Phil and I chose to take the adventure of our first trip to the medical center by ourselves. We were filled with anxiety, fear and hope as we headed up the coast. Phil had an MRI before we left, we rushed our "dream vacation" and found out that the cancer is growing at a rate that was making the doctors uncomfortable.
The view from the doctors office
Phil and I were like a fish out of water in the city. People, traffic and the energy of the city is fast and Phil and I are used to a more relaxed pace. We decided we would allow others to help us with our future trips to the city. We have been fortunate to have people to offer to help us, I'm appreciative of everything.
The view from the doctors office
While in the city we found out they wanted to do a biopsy to get more information about what kind of cancer, what stage it is in and the molecular make up of the tumor. Phil has already told me he did not want any more brain surgeries, that he would rather not have that as part of treatment. There was discussion, thought and a more discussion with our friend.
We listened to what she said and took it to heart. We were told on Friday by the doctors that we had until Monday at 4:00 to decide about the surgery.
What do Phil and I do?? Decide to drive to Santa Barbara for the day. Phil and I met in Santa Barbara, we needed to take a moment to ourselves and we fear missing one minute of life.
So off we headed....toward Santa Barbara
The weather has been wet, it rained on us the entire time we drove home from San Francisco and it showered on us off and on our way to Santa Barbara. The drive was gorgeous and it gave us time to talk. We stopped off at one of our favorite places on the way to eat.
Highly recommended!
We headed to see the Elephant Seals at San Simeon, California. It was raining and we thought we might not get to see the seals, but by the time we arrived at the beach, it stopped raining for a minute. There were many new babies, lots of noise and all the big males were laying around, I had been hoping for more action. The storm blew back in and we ended up having to run back to the car in the rain.
Phil and I have a favorite place to stay while we are in Santa Barbara and we love to share about it. We use Expedia to get the room and it is always a great price for a hotel that provides a clean spacious room, great customer service with a delicious continental breakfast in the morning. The location is more than fabulous, walking distance to East Beach, the zoo and State Street.
We got up in the morning and were greeted by smiles, waffles and rainbows. In fact all the way back to Monterey we spotted rainbows, I think we must have seen 8 or 9 all day. The conversation was serious, our hearts were heavy and we were scared.
On Monday we told UCSF we would go ahead with the biopsy. Tuesday we were on our way to San Francisco. Not by ourselves, but with the loving help of friends and family. Our friend Candice, used her expertise and fine driving to get us to San Francisco. Thank goodness because Phil and I were pretty much walking nerves. We had an MRI, labs and checked into our hotel to stay for the biopsy. Candice took us to Rome on Filbert St for dinner, we had a tasty hamburger and calm company full of optimism and good sense. I wish it would have been better circumstances because I have a feeling that Candice would be a wonderful tour guide of San Francisco. As Phil says Candice made an otherwise unpleasant experience just a little nicer. The hospital had a list of motels that we could choose from that was close to the hospital. They recommended a hotel called Ocean Park. We loved it, great location, cute neighborhood and the very best part - the staff is incredible in many ways, kindness being the theme of the stay.
Some side stories, while waiting to give blood, there was a "situation" going on with the police and a patient. It was exciting and kept us occupied while we waited. Never a dull moment while we were in the city, except at the motel and that was a peaceful, quiet experience.
During the MRI, they attach these cheerio type things, so the doctor knows exactly where to pull the biopsy from. Phil went to dinner wearing his markers, and as Candice reminded us no one would pay attention in San Francisco. She was right, except for the kids, they all took a second look.
We chose to do the biopsy because it will give the doctors the opportunity to see exactly what is growing, what stage it is at giving them the chance to give the best treatment. We hope in someway that it will help others in the future. I try to share part of what Phil goes through, so friends and family who may want to keep up with what is going on, and in hopes that it may show others what our journey is like. We have met many people with cancer or touched by cancer and each person has their own story and all of them are meeting their challenges head on. There is this need within us to share what we are going through with others. We have connected with some wonderful people going through the same journey by doing so. Sharing the journey with others has proven to be very helpful in our healing.
Phil has shown me nothing but love, kindness and friendship in the 20 plus years we have known each other. This year it will be our 22 years together and 14 years of being married to the absolute love of my life. Believe me he has been kissed, hugged and told how much he is loved this week.
My daughter Noelle showed up after work on Tuesday, a friend brought her to the hotel from Monterey and she stayed with us all the way through the rest of our visit. We colored photos for Phil while he was in surgery, kept us busy and entertained. She took care of transporting us by Uber, feeding us and even changing rooms, not knowing whether we would need to stay another day. To you Noelle, we love and say thank you.
In fact now is probably the time to say thank you to Candice, Michelle and Noelle for all the love and help they gave us. Plus all the other family and friends who have been showing us their love. There are no words, we are grateful it is what gets us through each day.
The first "real" food and coffee!
12 staples
The first day was pretty rough after the surgery, Phil was despondent and mad about not being able to eat food. The next morning was he was cranky, until his diet got released and he got the cup of coffee.
Candice and Michelle picked us up, listened to us, consoled us, cheered us and helped us get through a focal seizure on the way home. Michele, I loved watching Phil talk to you, I know the love and appreciation he was feeling. To our angels on earth, thank you very much. It is from you that we are learning our lesson about being human and what life is all about. Love, compassion and helping others is the focus, and the lifestyle.
In saying that, while we were in the hospital there were a couple of nurses that I must mention. Ashley Boyd, you rocked at being a nurse. You were professional, loving and compassionate all at once, thank you. We wish you many happy travels.
There was a woman that took care of Phil with kindness, love and humor. But it was in listening to her care for the man that shared a room with Phil, that convinced me this woman deserved to be mentioned. This man had no family to care for him, she took that place when nursing him. The kindness, human touch and empathy that she showed touched my heart and again reminded me how important a minute of one's time can be.
Teresita - Compassion, kind and loving. Thank you!
Today was a hard one. Phil was tired, depressed and is facing an assault to his brain again. He is has decided he does not want to have surgery in the future. I have reassured him that I want him to proceed with his treatments as he wants to. Tomorrow we will again get up and face life with hope, love and courage. One foot in front of another.....One moment at a time
It will be a least a week before we learn any news, in the meantime we heal.
It will be a least a week before we learn any news, in the meantime we heal.
Tomorrow we will take a walk and let nature heal.
Thank you to all for your love, we appreciate and need your prayers and well wishes.
The week previous to the surgery, Phil and I were able to take 3 days together, I will write a blog and share what we did on our journey up to Northern California......There was joy, laughter and magic on that trip.
Each of the people and businesses I mention in my blog, go beyond the call of duty!
Phil you are my hero, I love you. One foot in front of the other.
I will stand by you.
Please post comments if you would like. Phil will see all well wishes.
Your support is appreciated and I know it helps.
Phil Hellyer
PO Box 51131
Pacific Grove, Ca 93950
Healing at home.
Tomorrow is my daughter Noelle's birthday.
Noelle, thank you for all you do for Phil and I.
I know, you know, the love that we feel for you and the appreciation we hold in our hearts.
Thank you for sharing in our journey, it means the world to us.
Happy Birthday Noelle
Noelle, thank you for all you do for Phil and I.
I know, you know, the love that we feel for you and the appreciation we hold in our hearts.
Thank you for sharing in our journey, it means the world to us.
Happy Birthday Noelle
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