10/4/2018 am
Phil and I viewed the MRI results online this morning, and how we understand the report, there has been growth in the spot that they saw on the previous MRI. Sadness, crying, talking and working through all of this, is a daily process. I'm going to spend the next two days, writing, healing and keeping both of us busy. The doctors appointment is at 5:00 tomorrow and we have already had an adventure for the last couple of days. Messages from the universe, tears, talking about the what if's and what do we do's.
I will just work on the blog and share the story as it unfolds. The beauty and love around Phil and I is simply amazing.
The story starts with Penelope our Purple PT Cruiser pooping out. She has been sputtering for awhile, I've been trying to nurse her until November because she needs to be smogged, tires rotated and well a few other maintenance issues. Finances are always tricky, but sometimes you just can't fight what is happening to you. Thank the stars that we have some very loving, caring people in our lives. Once again Phil and I are eternally grateful for everyone who has stuck by us throughout our journey. It has been a difficult journey with more love, support and wells wishes than one could imagine. For that we are grateful.
Yesterday was a special day for us, my daughter Noelle was coming home from her vacation in Walt Disney World. She was coming in late to San Jose and had to be at work the following morning. Rather than pay for a shuttle, she rented a car, Phil and I picked up the car in the afternoon and drove up the coast to get her. This was a wonderful treat as we have been a little stuck as Penelope hasn't had pizzazz to get to far from home. We packed the cooler full of sandwiches, snacks and water, and we headed up the coast. Monterey to Half Moon Bay to San Jose.
After we got past Santa Cruz, we decided to stop the car, sit down, eat a sandwich and watch some surfers and the waves.
When we got into Half Moon Bay, a quick bathroom break and I make a wrong turn turning out of the parking lot. Right onto the road we would be taking to get to San Jose, saved us from having to look for it later. We ended up on Hwy 92 and we found a treasure, a group of green houses full of beauty and plants. We went into several of the green houses and had a great time!
This green house was calming, smelled terrific and got our visit off to a great start.
This one wasn't open, but we will go back and check it out.
I overheard these ladies discussing the business of the day with a comment that all they really had was people taking photos.....sometimes those people are trying to promote your business.
Just saying!
Coming from a customer service background, what happened in the next two greenhouses was a credit to these businesses. Both had people in them that showed kindness, personality and the willingness to interact. I loved the Aquaponics Green House and Half Moon Bay Flowers.
In flower shop we met a lovely lady who was making very cool flower Day of the Dead arrangement.
Katia a pleasure meeting you and appreciate your kindness and willingness to cooperate.
Katia and Phil had firefighting in common.
Then we headed onto Main Street Half Moon Bay, Phil and I love it there and have enjoyed the Pumpkin Festival in past years.
We took the time to breathe, searching the streets for treasures and hidden surprises.
The arcade was closed, we had hoped to catch a game of pinball.
I can't resist a reflection.
Window shopping was fun!
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Yahooooooo Bookstores
We let go of some of our angst, I can see the sadness and worry in our eyes, but we came from the day with a better attitude and the courage to keep moving forward.
There is nothing easy about the journey we are on. There are times we feel like giving up....but then we pick ourselves up, reminding ourselves of everything that we have to be grateful for and get going again. As we made our way through the streets of Half Moon Bay a woman came up to us and handed Phil a carnation and told him to give it to me. She had looked at me as we crossed paths, I believe she may have felt something was wrong with us. She was pulling a cart, was an older woman and she spoke with a heavy accent of some kind. Phil tried to offer her a dollar, she refused the money and said it was a kindness. We tried to express to her how much it the gesture meant to us and of course we took it to be an encouraging sign.
I turned to take a photo and she had disappeared.
There was a pumpkin patch, we took a little one home with us.
We wanted to visit the Harbor and the ocean to see the sunset over the ocean.
It didn't disappoint.
History and beauty at the Harbor. We seem to do best when we are out in the fresh air, walking and filling ourselves with positive energy. None of this is for the faint of heart. Emotions, fear and depressions slip in......
We counteract that with love, courage and positive energy.
Gratitude helps in every way.
Faith
Courage
and Love are our mottos. We left Half Moon Bay with a better attitude and hope.
Destination San Jose to get Noelle. Phil gave her the carnation when she arrived.
She sent a photo of the carnation today and it is blooming and beautiful.
10/05/2018
Today we had a hard one, there was much emotion and fear that got us. The Doctors appointment was tense for us because of the anxiety. I'm sure Dr. Bradley wondered what in the heaven's name was up with us. We both had panic attacks before he came in, I was a hyper mess.
It turns out the growth is there, is shows to be slightly larger and is in the area where the last tumor was removed. I had worked my imagination up so much that I was scared that Phil was going to have to start radiation right away. From what I understand unless there is signs of a more significant growth, it is still considered stable. In other words until it shows more growth, they won't do any procedure. If they do notice growth, they have some radiation pin point tricks up their sleeves. With that being said, I'm glad they are watching and noticing.
It is more than frightening.....the only thing that we can do is pick ourselves right back up and keep going. Lessons learned, we will be patient and wait to meet with the doctor before we view results. It was much more comforting to speak to someone who knows what they are looking for and can tell us in a calm manner that it is a matter of now keeping an eye on this nodule. We have another MRI in 2 months to check on progress. It doesn't make it any easier that we know that there is a growth. We will counteract that with CBD's, good food, exercise and rest.
That brings me to yesterday. Phil and I were resting, he has been tired and not feeling very well. Allergies, stress and daily struggles have been wearing on him. He looks outside sees the sky, notices photos of rainbows online and says let's go look at the ocean. We get on our way, Phil driving because Penelope is choking and coughing and I'm hesitant to drive her. I keep making him stop, so I can get photos of the rainbow, and then we get stuck behind the traffic light. Ha! I am hanging out of the car.....
We make our way to the ocean and we sit and watch the most spectacular rainbow show over Monterey Bay.
It is so beautiful, Phil and I begin to weep and we have to take a moment to regain ourselves.
The universe has a way of showing you hope....Nature is our religion
My spirituality is tied up into the energy of nature.
It is where we turn when we need a readjustment. There is peace and healing out there, if you throw in a rainbow it becomes magic.
The power of prayer is obvious to me.
Group energy is essential to healing.
These are the the discussions that fill us in the quiet moments.
Faith, love and courage.
What is life all about? LOVE
Oh my the lessons you learn when you are put into a life or death situation.
Thriving.....our goal is thriving through all of this.
2 more months, before the next MRI, we will make new friends, look for adventures and share love with those we care about. We are lucky and grateful. Brain cancer has been a teacher of what is important and as odd as it may seem, a blessing in many ways.
As we lost the rainbow, we headed to the other side of the peninsula.
We see whale blows, a spectacular marine layer blowing in and birds.....
Phil calls to me, he has tears in his eyes and becomes overwhelmed. He holds out his hand to show me what he has found.
Laughter.....isn't that the saving grace of everything.
Without humor I don't know where we would be.
So as they say
we are in a holding pattern.
Until the next MRI, we are going to LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH!
Candice and Michele, we love you beyond words.
A commercial break: We rented our car from Enterprise in Monterey. A great deal, a dependable car. The most important thing, kind efficient people. Andrew and Michelle took great care of us.
Without humor I don't know where we would be.
So as they say
we are in a holding pattern.
Until the next MRI, we are going to LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH!
Candice and Michele, we love you beyond words.
A commercial break: We rented our car from Enterprise in Monterey. A great deal, a dependable car. The most important thing, kind efficient people. Andrew and Michelle took great care of us.
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