Dear Phil,
As your birthday approaches I am very nostalgic, filled with love, sadness and hope all at the same time. I have watched you go through pain, fear and have seen your incredible strength. I go through this journey with you gathering as much strength as I can, trying to find courage, humor and there is always love. Photography has provided us with a record of our journey, reason to get out and most of all a therapy. Phil, I'm trying to tell your story....I want everyone to know of our love, of your courage and most of all what a wonderful person you are. The only thing I know to give you is our story, our love and our journey.......I have loved every moment together, you are my soul mate and simply the love of my life.
Our story in photos..........
Our first photo together. Before we even dreamed that you and I would be a couple. Remember those times......I do.
It was 1997 and we started out on a life's journey and headed across the country. It is on that trip that we spent one of your most memorable birthdays. Traveling from California to Florida with a huge Penske truck, our first Chevy Van pulling a trailer, my daughters, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a turtle, fish, Ron (daughters boyfriend) and many many possessions. A caravan of sorts. Your birthday started out at my parents house in Arkansas.....that morning we lost a cat, then our credit card wouldn't work, we had a blow out in Transylvania, Louisiana, the worst storm imaginable in Jackson and it was the beginning of a life I wouldn't change for anything.
Florida proved to be a weather challenge and we were off to Arkansas. Phil the years that we spent in Eureka Springs are some of the best times of my life. Romance, love and fun. Great people, adventures and watching Noelle grow up. Eureka was all about love, us learning things about ourselves and each other. We should be hearing a Patrick Sweany tune, be looking at a Zeek Taylor piece and be screaming yahoo climbing the hill to get home.
White Street Walk Photo taken by John Rankine
Right after you returned from boot camp, we decided it was a good idea for you to do hippie.
Tow dog Woody. Sheila we miss and love you. I hope you both are together again.
Tow truck driver, cook and then firefighter. You joined the Air National Guard to get fire training.
Phil one of the things that I admire and marvel at is your capacity to give. I don't care who they were or what they were needing you were there. Our family, friends and strangers, I have seen you stop to help, pick up trash off the sides of the road and save many stray animals.
Phil we have been dealing with the journey of brain cancer one day at a time. I hope that I am bringing some feeling of love and compassion. There are no words, there is only love, compassion and I can tell you that I am always here for you. We will make it through this journey holding hands, laughing and living life.
I leave you with our new memories and am looking forward to making more......
I love you Phil. You are brave, you are my love and I am treasuring each precious moment.
I hold your hand and we will continue together. We don't do it alone, the most beautiful thing is that we have love, support and a team behind us. A beautiful team. We are blessed Phil, even through all of this we are very blessed.
To all of you that continue to help us any many ways. Thank you, we simply would not be surviving without the love, support and help of others. Although we are doing better in every way, cancer is hard on many levels. It has been a hard climb up a very steep hill, the only way we continue to soar is with your love. We both are grateful for everything life, love and hope......Thank you again.
Phil and Linda
Right after you returned from boot camp, we decided it was a good idea for you to do hippie.
Animals have always been a part of our life.
Tow truck driver, cook and then firefighter. You joined the Air National Guard to get fire training.
Phil one of the things that I admire and marvel at is your capacity to give. I don't care who they were or what they were needing you were there. Our family, friends and strangers, I have seen you stop to help, pick up trash off the sides of the road and save many stray animals.
After Eureka, we moved to Rogers, you moved from the Eureka Springs Fire Dept to the Fayetteville Fire Dept. What days they were.....travels, buying a house and marriage.
Your cooking skills were starting to take effect. We were officially in the chub club. Married in Eureka Springs, that wonderful city and people are etched in our hearts.
A trip to Hawaii for Nicole's wedding. Wow now that was some fun! We all still laugh about that vacation. You had the worst sunburn, the worst hangover and the best time!
A few trips to Disney World.......thanks to the daughters for participating in Disney college.
A visit to Cali and when we came back the house was more than a frozen wonderland. We left our life behind and started another adventure. Back to California.
Property management in California called, we met some wonderful friends. Our jobs in the aquarium gave us joy and fun. Business in Arkansas called and we spent another year there.....I have the feeling that is were I started to see the symptoms of cancer. We returned to California quickly, the weather was playing on us in Arkansas and the fog kept calling us. That year was a hard one on us.....But we sprang back and we were back in Pacific Grove.
Judy and you enjoying the beach in Carmel. A tent a dog and a wonderful memory.
Jazzzzzzzz fest always our favorite
The love of our life.
Noelle is always helping.
Carla Hall at the aquarium.
A couple of things come into our life and change the course of life. Ma's Green Living, my daughters green store, it was a constant in all of our lives for a few years. I miss it and I miss Nicole, what memories I have.
Goddess classes, readings and helping the environment filled our hearts. The traveling tent was fun and enabled us to meet many incredible people in our community.
Life's twists and turns led us to a couple of happenings that changed our lives and gave us a few years of camping and traveling bliss. The Chevy van. It has made the blog on countless occasions. Phil these travels fill my heart and memories. I hope you enjoy these photos as much as I do!
We were planning a trip back to Arkansas to visit my mom and dad. After looking at the costs of renting a van, we decided to try our luck on ebay. Phil found the Chevy van, we drove to Santa Cruz and picked her up. That was the best $5000. ever spent!
Adventures......lots of adventures.....
The love of photography starts, I find Arthur Lakes ancient Egyptian stones and tarot and the crystal ball photography takes full force. You always humoring me, sunrise walks, helping me save my crystal ball and toting Alice all over town for me.
All the while you were running your shop, we noticed some things....weight loss, anxiety, heart palpitations but we just attributed it to the stress of Phil's Auto Repair. You were down to being the only man and with hind sight I know how lucky we were that you didn't have your seizure there.
Then we made a decision, one that revolved around the van. We were going to downsize from our larger apartment to a studio apartment and travel on the weekends. The shop would shut down for two weeks at Christmas and we sold everything we owned, and we put our stuff into storage. We headed out for vacation and then we had a wait time before we moved into the apartment....
We headed out in the van for adventure and fun.
Santa Barbara, Northern California, camping, laughing and having fun all the way.
On the last night you suffer a burn on your hands and then begins the spiral into our journey with brain cancer. I hate to even post the photo, but it is a part of your story of bravery, two brain surgeries, chemo, radiation and seizures, in and out of the hospital for the first 6 months. It is a blur, I started keeping the blog as my journal, letting go of the angst, fear and confusion. I can't believe what you endured and I don't know if I will ever be able to totally wrap my brain around what is going on.
I leave you with our new memories and am looking forward to making more......
Our therapy, our job and our loves!
The photography is improving because of all the time we spend walking for therapy. I'm recording everything, every moment is etched in my heart. Thank you for your patience with me while I run around like a wild woman capturing images, the camera has offered peace of soul through this. Creativity has taken form in many ways through the journey.
I love you Phil. You are brave, you are my love and I am treasuring each precious moment.
I hold your hand and we will continue together. We don't do it alone, the most beautiful thing is that we have love, support and a team behind us. A beautiful team. We are blessed Phil, even through all of this we are very blessed.
I love you,
Linda
To all of you that continue to help us any many ways. Thank you, we simply would not be surviving without the love, support and help of others. Although we are doing better in every way, cancer is hard on many levels. It has been a hard climb up a very steep hill, the only way we continue to soar is with your love. We both are grateful for everything life, love and hope......Thank you again.
Phil and Linda
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