For The Love Of Phil - Birthday Greetings and Love

With Phil's birthday arriving on the 28th, I am terribly nostalgic, very sensitive and a bit weepy.  Phil and I have been together since 1997 and married since 2005 - they have truly been the most incredible, loving years.  Phil is one of the most remarkable men I have ever met, he is my best friend, soul mate and husband, I am blessed, very blessed.

We have traveled all over the country from California to Florida.  We have called many places home and loved all of them.  We have a beautiful family, friends and have spent many good times with them over the years in all the wonderful places we have called home.  Our first home together was in Eureka Springs, Arkansas.  It was the best place to fall in love.  We fell in love with each other, the people and Eureka itself.  That quaint little town provided us with everything you need to fall in love.  Just sitting on the porch with friends, small talk, living a slower life, hand holding, walking, and having adventures with friends, just filled us with love and sweet memories.  We have had the most beautiful dinners, sat and listened to the most incredible music, while we lived there.  Patrick Sweany you are the theme music for our time in Eureka, our family experiencing the Eureka love and lifestyle, what could be better?   The love, the romance, the fun............Art, love, freedom, fun....  I would not trade those 5 years for anything.  Halloween, White Street Walk, Center Street, Basin Park Hotel, Crescent Hotel, Ermilios, Iris at the Basin Park, the parades, the drag queens.......oh the fun.  

The past few years of our lives together, has been the most remarkable and it is ironic because my guess is Phil has had brain cancer that entire time.  We bought the van and the adventures of a lifetime began.  We camped from California to Arkansas to visit my parents.  Up and down the California Coast.  Phil, myself and the best dog in the world Judy.  We lost Judy a year or so ago, we miss her, our lives had revolved around our little girl for 15 years.  She loved to travel, she thought the van was okay, but that girl loved a motel room.  I'm smiling just thinking about it.  We went everywhere together.  I started this blog to share our journeys.  In December we had the trip of a lifetime up and down the coast of California.  It was at the end of the trip that Phil had his seizure and we found the cancer on Jan 19, 2016.

We are living in another wonderful little town right now, Pacific Grove, California.  It is providing us with nature and healing time for Phil.  He has taken up fighting this battle, fighting for his life and he is fighting it like a champion.  I'm thankful for the help we received at the cancer center and continue to receive.  They explained to me that Phil's brain right now can only handle little bits of stress, when he becomes tired or complains of being over stressed to take him away from the situation.  We have been living a quiet, healthy lifestyle, and we continue to enjoy life and each other.  They say some people remain that way the rest of their lives, I hope Phil continues to improve daily.  It is hard to go from the free wheeling lifestyle that we had, to what he has now.   Both of us grieve about losing our old lifestyle and are learning how to live our new one.  He struggles with each day and it is hard to watch, but I'm keeping hope alive here.  I'm sure as he heals, it will all keep improving, that is my belief anyway. His brain seems to need organization right now, schedule, he wants to do the same rituals.  I try to slowly bring him out into the world.  He seems to handle small doses of time with people.  He says he struggles with what to say and it makes him uncomfortable.   I am noticing him doing better with speaking with people as time goes on, I think he is still recovering from the surgeries and the radiation, as the swelling in the brain goes down, I'm sure things will improve.  The radiation was brutal on him, it seems to cause confusion and he seemed to be in a fog.  There are still times of confusion, but it seems to be getting better.   Each day without a seizure is a blessing........

"I love you Philly"

Today's visit to the mailbox was more than fun, it was touching and fun.  I cried watching him get the cards and packages, it was beautiful.  The smile he had on his face when he saw me carrying all those packages and cards, priceless.   He is suffering from some depression and sadness, so the love in those cards and packages is such joy.  There was a tshirt from a friend that he had on base, some great Hawaiian looking statues, that made us both smile, a grocery gift card (the perfect gift right now), a hand made card from Queen Dilly Dally, and it looks like parts of a surprise from his sister and beautiful notes, the most beautiful notes.....Thank you very much for the love, cards and treats - it means very much to both of us.   I'm crying again thinking about it, it is the love that means so very much right now.  

Thank you again everyone!  I love each one of you!!!  

His birthday is June 28 - he will be 41 years old.  H Happy Birthday Phil, I'm counting on many more.....